Although I had originally intended to join the congregation of Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church for worship this morning, my Mezger floor mate, Mike, invited me to join him at St. Johns Lutheran Church in St. Louis, where he is assigned for field work. (I will undoubtedly submit a post later in the summer talking about the Resident Field Education program, but that can wait.)
This morning's service included a rare treat for me: Divine Service III from page 184 of the Lutheran Service Book (LSB). What is so special about that, you ask? Divine III is the order of worship from"The Lutheran Hymnal" (the "red book", as I came to know it as a child). Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, my home congregation, had only started using the LSB during the last month before my family departed for seminary, and they had not used Divine III yet.) It was amazing how comfortable and easy it was to slip back into that setting for worship; I guess a familiar worship liturgy is like riding a bicycle - you never really forget how.
David Benning, one of the two field workers at this congregation, preached the sermon. His text was Matthew 10:21-33 and he brought together these words of God through a number of foci: our inability to do the works of God, Jesus Christ's having done the works of God in our place and for our forgiveness, and our work in carrying this message to those who do not yet know Jesus. I was particularly pleased, and directly encouraged, by his addressing our fears in sharing this Good News with those around us. We need not be afraid! The Word does its work by the Spirit; we are carried along as the "means", or instrument, by which this Word goes forth.
It occurred to me as I listened that I have, on many occasions in life, been afraid to engage unbelief for fear that I would not be "successful". I have feared that I might fail to put together a complete and irrefutable argument for Christ. But I realize that a deeper fear was this: What did it say of my own faith that I could not answer every question or refute every counter argument? (As though by not entering into discussion and thereby discovering that I did not already know everything, I might somehow avoid not knowing everying... how foolish!)
It occurred to me as I listened that I have, on many occasions in life, been afraid to engage unbelief for fear that I would not be "successful". I have feared that I might fail to put together a complete and irrefutable argument for Christ. But I realize that a deeper fear was this: What did it say of my own faith that I could not answer every question or refute every counter argument? (As though by not entering into discussion and thereby discovering that I did not already know everything, I might somehow avoid not knowing everying... how foolish!)
The essence of this fear is made manifest when it is re-expressed in this way: What if I'm not the one person in the world who knows all there is to know about this subject so that I cannot be toppled by force of reason? Do you know anyone that meets this qualification in any field of endeavor? Jesus said: "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say." (Luke 12:11-12)
By the grace of God, I have grown in my willingness to speak of the Almighty Father and the atoning sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, for my sins - whether I am "ready or not". I will always pray that my unbelieving friends, family, co-workers and the strangers I meet will be made alive in Christ through the strengthening of their faith as we share conversation with one another, but I will stick to my job (i.e. proclaiming the Gospel) and trust the Spirit to accomplish his (i.e. calling, enlightening, sanctifying, and preserving each of us and all of us in the faith).
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